


i'm not okay (i promise)

by rywaen



Series: Requests and Drabbles [3]
Category: Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Anxiety, Domestic Fluff, Drabble Collection, Ficlet Collection, Fluff, Kissing, M/M, Not Beta Read
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-26
Updated: 2014-06-26
Packaged: 2018-02-06 07:20:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1849306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rywaen/pseuds/rywaen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of requests and drabbles previously only found on my tumblr involving Tony and Bruce.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Magic Word

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on my [tumblr](http://skinnvsteve.tumblr.com) and find my [commission info](http://skinnvsteve.tumblr.com/commish+donation) there too.
> 
> This prompt was  
> jessicamiriamdrew said:
> 
> "you forgot to say the magic word." brucetony

"Tony."

"—and not to mention that I’ve done all of this work for them for free. I mean, it was just a favor, at first, and then they had me looking at these blueprints for these huge ships. Like, I’m not saying it wasn’t  _fun_ , but I have to manage my time a lot more carefully now, you know.”

“ _Tony_.”

"I mean, Pepper’s still taking it easy and Rhodey’s swamped with work. Not to mention you practically turning tail and running out on me a few times; like that’s what either of us need right now. And Fury just thinks that since I so graciously became a part of his super secret boy band, my time is his to throw around willy-nilly."

“ _Tony!_ ”

"What? Are you even listening, Bruce?"

"Tony, you’ve set the stove on fire."

Whipping his head back around, Tony saw that he had indeed somehow managed to start a fire while he was cooking. He grabbed the towel that had been set aflame and dropped it to the floor, stomping on the end of it quickly to try and put it out. It took a few tries, but eventually he managed to put it out, the cloth now in charred remains with the ash staining the nice wood floor.

For a few moments, the pair of them just stared at the spot on the floor, considering it with equal amounts of exhaustion and curiosity. Then, the both looked up and met each other’s eyes, Bruce’s amused and smiling behind his glasses and Tony gave him a smirk in return.

"What’s with that smile? You’re happy I almost set fire to the whole kitchen, aren’t you? Laughing at my misery, I see."

"No, just wondering how I put up with you."

"I’d say pretty easily, seeing as both you and Pepper claim for some ungodly reason that I’m whipped."

"That’s because you are," Bruce pointed out as he turned to pull the broom out from the utility closet a the end of the row of cabinets. He shooed Tony out of the way and got to work sweeping up the ashes and the remains of the towel. "Either turn off the stove or go back to work."

"You forgot the magic word."

"Is it ‘fire’ or ‘call 911’? Because it will be if you don’t focus on one thing at a time." At the sound of Tony scoffing, Bruce nudged at him with his shoulder and got him to look up. He leaned in and pressed their lips together in a simple kiss, Tony’s hands immediately wandering up to cup Bruce’s face as he hummed and leaned in even further.

But before he could get any more distracted, Bruce pulled away and went back to sweeping up the mess Tony had made. “The green onions and the carrots go in next. We’re eating something other than take-out tonight, small kitchen fires be damned.”

"I like it when you’re bossy, Doctor Banner."

"Shut up and cook, Stark."


	2. Sharing Secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dixie-chicken said:
> 
> Bruce/Tony, "Can I tell you a secret?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, you can find me on my [tumblr](http://rywaen.tumblr.com) and find my [commission info](http://rywaen.tumblr.com/commish+donation) there too.

"Hey, Bruce?"

"Hm?"

"Can I tell you a secret?"

The both of them were curled up together on Tony’s large bed in the pitch blackness of the night. Admittedly, they had been drinking when they most likely shouldn’t have, but they had both just heard about what had happened to S.H.I.E.L.D and felt that they needed a bit of a break before things went even more to shit.

So, there they were, lying together in the dark, Tony’s head against Bruce’s stomach with his limbs spread eagle as he stared up at the ceiling in the dark. It reminded him of when he used to have the glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling when he was young. Though they were incredibly cartoonish and inaccurate no matter where he placed them, they were still nice. 

"Are we suddenly teenagers and I didn’t notice?" Bruce asked, sounding more amused than tired as he reached up and rubbed at his eyes with one hand and pushed his fingers into Tony’s hair with his other. 

"If we were, we’d probably be screwing like rabbits, not telling secrets," he pointed out, licking his lips as he felt Bruce’s stomach rise and fall with gentle laughter. "Answer the question."

With a sigh, Bruce dropped his hand down again and gently scratched at Tony’s scalp while he just breathed, enjoying the quiet and the darkness for a few more moments. “Yeah, sure, tell me a secret.”

Tony opened his mouth, ready to tell him straight off the bat, but he hesitated. Asking for permission was one thing, but actively sharing the secret that had come to mind? That was a bit more difficult. 

His jaw snapped shut again and he hummed, licking his lips and adjusting on the bed, wondering if he just needed to be both physically and mentally ready. Settling in again he realized— nope, no, that wasn’t it. Well, shit.

"Tony?" Bruce asked, craning his head up a bit to peer down at him, confused as to why he hadn’t started automatically running his mouth. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah," he said quickly. Probably too quickly. "Yeah, just…gimme a sec."

"Alright," Bruce agreed, dropping his head to the pillow again and continuing to scratch gently at Tony’s scalp as he let him have a moment. 

It took a few more minutes before either of them spoke again, and this time Tony ended up making Bruce jerk back awake from the edge of sleep where he’d been drifting.

"Okay, so, here’s the thing. I’m better than I was. You know that, I know that, Pepper knows that, Rhodey knows that. We all know. I’m better. But…" he paused, swallowing hard. "What if. What if I’m not as okay as we all think I am? What if it’s still there and it comes back when we all least expect it? What if I’m out somewhere, flying in a new suit, and I just— I freeze. Or panic. Or what if I just can’t breathe. What if that happens? What if that’s going to happen?"

"Tony—"

"No, you don’t get it," Tony said quickly, sitting up and making Bruce’s hand fall away. "I don’t think I’m  _okay_ , Bruce. I think I’m still very  _not_  okay and I don’t want to tell Pepper or Rhodey or even myself. Pepper worries about every little thing now, and Rhodey’s busy and I want to actually try being supportive and you know, considerate towards him now. Shocking, I know. But if they knew. If they knew that I really wasn’t okay…”

"Tony, take a breath," Bruce instructed, having sat up as well and slid closer to Tony, his hands coming up to now cup his cheeks. "Deep breath. Three of them for me, okay? I’ll do them too."

They both breathed for a few minutes, retaking in the darkness and the cool air that came in like a breeze from the AC that had kicked on. Bruce’s hands were warm and calloused and comforting on Tony’s face, his beard scratching at his skin, but neither of them cared. 

"Let me tell you a secret now," he whispered, leaning in close so that their foreheads were pressed together. "I’m not okay either. I’ll never be okay. I have control, but I don’t have peace. I’ve come to accept that this is just a part of me now, and while I still want to find a cure, I can live this way until I do." 

Their eyes met, vision adjusted just enough in the dark, and Bruce gave him a soft smile before leaning in to press their lips together briefly. “We don’t have to be okay. We just have to be okay with not being okay.”

"I think," Tony began, pausing to swallow and press their lips together once more. "I think I can do that."


End file.
